I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
whose ass print is on the piano?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
