I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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