My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
