you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
