so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
