Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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