I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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