I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
