Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
