my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
