There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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