Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
