great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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