If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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