So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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