There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
