Fuck appropriateness.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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