But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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