Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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