Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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