I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
