Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
