singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
