I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize