how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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