well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
