My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
