Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
