real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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