Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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