remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
