The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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