Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
