hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize