We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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