Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
