Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I know her cup size but not her name....
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