Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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