youre lurking in front of me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
