I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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