..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
