the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
