you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
