I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
