I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
