I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
