GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
