I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
