But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
