The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
