Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I feel great
I just peed on a car
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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