why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We left an ass print on the piano.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
