Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Randomize
