Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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