Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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