The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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