If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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