I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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