It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
